Mood:  lazy

This was going to be in my profile, but it ended up being WAY too long, so I'm posting it. Here we go:

I despise reality TV shows, especially American Idol. I cannot stand Kelly Clarkson. She won only because she was the best of the worst. If she was in a battle against REAL singers like Christina Aguilera, Sarah Mclachlan, and Celine Dion, she would lose. I don't think she's much of an idol either. Just because she won American Idol, it doesn't make her accomplished. Personally, my idol is Emmy Rossum. She entered the Metropoliton Opera when she was 7. She was only 16 when she was cast as the lead female in "Phantom", and she was among major competition(Keira Knightley, Charlotte Church, Anne Hathaway, and Katie Holmes). She was nominated for a Golden Globe for best supporting actress in "Phantom" when she was 18. Though she didn't win, she was nominated at a young age. She won this years award from Hollywood Life for "Superstar of Tomorrow". She's smart; instead of going on with her film career, she's stopped to go back to school. She does, however, have an upcoming CD set for 2007, and she's in a production of Romeo and Juliet in Ma. So far, she's appeared on at least one episode of 6 shows, and has been in 15 movies. She's been nominated for 10 awards, and won 7 of them. And she's only 20. What's best of all, she's not one of those stupid girls who goes out to clubs and parties all the time(Lohan...). As from Teen Vogue, she said "Some girls like clubbing every night, and I'm so happy for them. But it's not for me". I also hate stupid girls! I love the "Stupid Girls" video. So funny. I can't stand the screeching. And why did the people at my school have to think that skulls were in? Why? I walk down the hallway and see girls wearing black and skulls and I'm like, yes! Normal people! And I let my guard down, thinking that I don't have to worry about giggling and shreiking and hugging. But no, they are the stupid giggly girls in disguise! I walk by and it's "Like OMG!" And I'm not using internet short term, they actually say "o-m-g". It's sad. I also hate anyone that leads the media on to believe that goths are satanic. I used to be able to say to myself, sure, I guess I am a bit gothic. Cause I am. Being goth is about seeing beauty around you, no matter how dark or horrible it may seem. My world can be crumbling down, and I can still find hope and happiness in it. In my eyes, goth is about letting your angst out now, so you can be happy and live life later. If you smile and hide the anger and pain now, you'll have to live with your pain for the rest of your life. If you just let it out now, slowly but surely, your burdens will be lifted and you will be free. There is an obsession with death involved, but it's not an obsession to die. But stuff like the Columbine shootings give goths a bad name. Because of their black trenchcoats during the events, the media labeled them gothic, and since then goths have been considered to be dangerous, murderous, and suicidal. I'm not dangerous, I would never kill because choosing who will die and who will live is sick, and no matter how bad my life gets, I would never take it. I always know that no matter how bad it is today, tomorrow's light will bring better things. I hope that someday people will have sense and give these people a different label and leave goths alone. I'm so sick of walking out of a Hot Topic at the mall and then being followed around the rest of my time there by security guards. It's not fair. Better yet, I hope we have some sort of medical breakthrough so we can get these people help before it's too late. Recently I read about some kids that were planning to "do a Columbine". The counselor found out and called the police. The kids were 10 when Columbine happened and they thought it was cool. I was 10 too, and I was distraught over it. I couldn't believe people could be so cruel. It wakes you up and throws you into harsh reality. It steals your innocence from you. You can't be a child anymore when stuff like that happens. You have to wake up and face reality. It's not fair for that to happen to you when you're 10. And these people thought it was cool. What child thinks that that is cool? Therefore it is impossible for these people to be acting this way simply because of being so-called "gothic". It's a sickness. It has to be. Hmm. I was just reading this over and I mentioned that my childishness was stolen merely because of Columbine. It wasn't, but it certainly contributed to it. The Santa Clause ordeal happened when I was 11. That was early when it happened, but I doubt even 5 year olds believe anymore. You know what though? I still believe. He's not a person, but he was at one point in history. It's the spirit of Christmas now, and I believe. I really do.

Goodnight. Sleeptight. Smile in anticipation of morning's light.