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The Absurdity of my Life
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Tuesday, 3 October 2006
screenplay
Mood:  a-ok
Now Playing: Lithium by Evanescence
Bought The Open Door today. It ROCKS!!!!!!!!! I've finished my first screenplay too. I'm going to be doing months of editing, but oh well. I finally got to say 'the end'! I know that you're not supposed to say the end in a screenplay, but it is actually part of the story. i'm proud of myself. it's come out very nice. still won't say what it is. ha ha. :P

Posted by absurdity-fanatics at 9:28 PM MDT
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Tuesday, 19 September 2006

Mood:  chatty
Now Playing: Mozart's Requiem (hw again. when isn't there hw?)

evanescence.com now has clips to two of their new songs. "Sweet Sacrifice" and "Lacrymosa". Sweet Sacrifice is neat, but Lacrymosa is AWESOME!!!! It has Mozart's Requiem in the background, it's so cool. Can't wait for the new album. I'm going to walk through 'the open door' at Sam Goodey! (yeah, I know, TONS of fans have already used that line, but it's FUNNY)


Posted by absurdity-fanatics at 4:48 PM MDT
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Sunday, 17 September 2006
Good Luck My Friend
Mood:  lyrical
Now Playing: Lacrimosa by Mozart (supposed to be doing hw)

This is about my best friend of eight years. We went to different schools, and when we finally went to the same school, she ignored me. I know when I'm being cut out, so I was fine with it and we stopped talking. And that was it. It's true that inspiration comes to you when you're supposed to be doing something else. I'm supposed to be doing history right now. :)

My dearest friend
Don't pretend that you're sorry
I know by now when I'm being pushed away
You pushed me away
I'm not going to be a summer friend
I'm not going to be left behind
Am I not good enough for you?
Fine then, throw away what we had
Just don't come crying to me

Waste your time on revelations
I can't wait around for you to realize what you are
Cut out all the wrongs in your life
You can't cut out yourself, you know
Hold my tongue, hold my tongue
So sick of holding my tongue
Just smile and hiss with clenched teeth
Good luck my friend

My dearest friend
Don't pretend you're sorry
I'll let you live your lie
I promise not to tell
It's our little secret
Though I doubt everyone is blind to it
You've always been a liar
That will never change
Keep pretending your the best
You don't even try to make it true

Waste your time on revelations
I can't wait around for you to realize what you are
Cut out all the wrongs in your life
You can't cut out yourself, you know
Hold my tongue, hold my tongue
So sick of holding my tongue
Just smile and hiss with clenched teeth
Good luck my friend

Try and cleanse your soul
Can't wash it all away
Pray all you want, girl
Can't wash it all away
The act is done, it's over now
Can't wash it all away
No one left to save you
Good luck saving yourself


Posted by absurdity-fanatics at 7:36 PM MDT
Updated: Monday, 18 September 2006 4:09 PM MDT
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Mood:  lazy

This was going to be in my profile, but it ended up being WAY too long, so I'm posting it. Here we go:

I despise reality TV shows, especially American Idol. I cannot stand Kelly Clarkson. She won only because she was the best of the worst. If she was in a battle against REAL singers like Christina Aguilera, Sarah Mclachlan, and Celine Dion, she would lose. I don't think she's much of an idol either. Just because she won American Idol, it doesn't make her accomplished. Personally, my idol is Emmy Rossum. She entered the Metropoliton Opera when she was 7. She was only 16 when she was cast as the lead female in "Phantom", and she was among major competition(Keira Knightley, Charlotte Church, Anne Hathaway, and Katie Holmes). She was nominated for a Golden Globe for best supporting actress in "Phantom" when she was 18. Though she didn't win, she was nominated at a young age. She won this years award from Hollywood Life for "Superstar of Tomorrow". She's smart; instead of going on with her film career, she's stopped to go back to school. She does, however, have an upcoming CD set for 2007, and she's in a production of Romeo and Juliet in Ma. So far, she's appeared on at least one episode of 6 shows, and has been in 15 movies. She's been nominated for 10 awards, and won 7 of them. And she's only 20. What's best of all, she's not one of those stupid girls who goes out to clubs and parties all the time(Lohan...). As from Teen Vogue, she said "Some girls like clubbing every night, and I'm so happy for them. But it's not for me". I also hate stupid girls! I love the "Stupid Girls" video. So funny. I can't stand the screeching. And why did the people at my school have to think that skulls were in? Why? I walk down the hallway and see girls wearing black and skulls and I'm like, yes! Normal people! And I let my guard down, thinking that I don't have to worry about giggling and shreiking and hugging. But no, they are the stupid giggly girls in disguise! I walk by and it's "Like OMG!" And I'm not using internet short term, they actually say "o-m-g". It's sad. I also hate anyone that leads the media on to believe that goths are satanic. I used to be able to say to myself, sure, I guess I am a bit gothic. Cause I am. Being goth is about seeing beauty around you, no matter how dark or horrible it may seem. My world can be crumbling down, and I can still find hope and happiness in it. In my eyes, goth is about letting your angst out now, so you can be happy and live life later. If you smile and hide the anger and pain now, you'll have to live with your pain for the rest of your life. If you just let it out now, slowly but surely, your burdens will be lifted and you will be free. There is an obsession with death involved, but it's not an obsession to die. But stuff like the Columbine shootings give goths a bad name. Because of their black trenchcoats during the events, the media labeled them gothic, and since then goths have been considered to be dangerous, murderous, and suicidal. I'm not dangerous, I would never kill because choosing who will die and who will live is sick, and no matter how bad my life gets, I would never take it. I always know that no matter how bad it is today, tomorrow's light will bring better things. I hope that someday people will have sense and give these people a different label and leave goths alone. I'm so sick of walking out of a Hot Topic at the mall and then being followed around the rest of my time there by security guards. It's not fair. Better yet, I hope we have some sort of medical breakthrough so we can get these people help before it's too late. Recently I read about some kids that were planning to "do a Columbine". The counselor found out and called the police. The kids were 10 when Columbine happened and they thought it was cool. I was 10 too, and I was distraught over it. I couldn't believe people could be so cruel. It wakes you up and throws you into harsh reality. It steals your innocence from you. You can't be a child anymore when stuff like that happens. You have to wake up and face reality. It's not fair for that to happen to you when you're 10. And these people thought it was cool. What child thinks that that is cool? Therefore it is impossible for these people to be acting this way simply because of being so-called "gothic". It's a sickness. It has to be. Hmm. I was just reading this over and I mentioned that my childishness was stolen merely because of Columbine. It wasn't, but it certainly contributed to it. The Santa Clause ordeal happened when I was 11. That was early when it happened, but I doubt even 5 year olds believe anymore. You know what though? I still believe. He's not a person, but he was at one point in history. It's the spirit of Christmas now, and I believe. I really do.

Goodnight. Sleeptight. Smile in anticipation of morning's light.


Posted by absurdity-fanatics at 12:11 AM MDT
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Saturday, 16 September 2006
Untitled
Mood:  down
Now Playing: We Will Rock You

My heart has turned to glass
Constantly threating to break
Please don't say those words
I'm on the verge of tears
Just tell me you love me
I'll forgive again
Go on pretending
You never meant what you said

You tell me to run
You tell me to hide
I have no where to go
No where to hide
I still have the guts to tell you
I love you
God, how I love you
But the flame is going out
You've beaten it out of me
Life can't go on as it does

Here I am again
Picking up the broken pieces
Shards of glass
Cut through my heart
When did our fairytale change?
So long dashing knight
I'll see you again in my dreams

You tell me to run
You tell me to hide
I have no where to go
No where to hide
I still have the guts to tell you
I love you
God, how I love you
But the flame is going out
You've beaten it out of me
Life can't go on as it does

But oh darling
You didn't break me
No, no, no, no
You destroyed me


Posted by absurdity-fanatics at 9:13 PM MDT
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Wednesday, 13 September 2006
I Alone
Mood:  a-ok
Now Playing: Wash It All Away

This is about being the only one to know a person. Being the only one that can see them for what they truly are, and be able to love them for who they really are. It's also about being turned away from that person, and realizing how alone you are.

I ALONE

Through your love
I began to see
The flame you lit inside of me
Now that you've turned me away
I'm cold inside
I need to let go of you
Why can't you say you loved me too?

I alone could hear your tears
I alone could see your fears
I alone could feel your pain
I alone
I alone
I alone
I'm so alone...

I walk along in these shadows of light
Mourning the loss of your presence
I loathe you for leaving me
But I can't seem to stop loving you
I need to let go of you
Why can't you say you loved me too?

I alone could hear your tears
I alone could see your fears
I alone could feel your pain
I alone
I alone
I alone
I'm so alone...

Why, oh why, God
Must this happen to me
Torn apart
By my heart
What will be left of me?


Posted by absurdity-fanatics at 6:35 PM MDT
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All Too Real
Now Playing: Solitude

I've cried a thousand tears
And caused a thousand more
I lie inside myself
And cry out loud
Consumed by my pain
(The pain that I caused you)
We can't break away
We can't break away

Unspeakable pain
It cuts like a dagger
Unspeakable sorrow
Entwined in lover's song
It's all too real

We once spoke
Words of such beauty
Slowly those words
Died with our hearts
All that I've done for you
(Going down the drain)
All that you've done for me
(Going down the drain)
We can't wish this all away

Unspeakable pain
It cuts like a dagger
Unspeakable sorrow
Entwined in lover's song
It's all too real

I can't love you any more than I do
I can't hate you any more than I do

 


Posted by absurdity-fanatics at 6:21 PM MDT
Updated: Wednesday, 13 September 2006 6:26 PM MDT
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Once Upon A Time
Mood:  a-ok
Now Playing: So Close

Same old story
Heard it a thousand times
One upon a time
Sweet lullaby

Sing me to sleep
Of hopes and dreams
Make me believe in fairytales
I've lost all that I've known
I need to win it back
I just can't remember
What it's like to be a child

The singing in my ears
Such sweet singing
Suddenly those voices
Have faded into lies
A world so happy
Shadowing the horrors within
I wish I had the lie I used to be

Sing me to sleep
Of hopes and dreams
Make me a believe in fairytales
I've lost all that I've known
I need to win it back
I just can't remember
What it's like to be a child

I've wished my whole life away
Dreaming for a prince to save me
Praying for the end
My happy, happy end
The happily ever after never came

(weird piano stuff)

Same old story
Once upon a time
Sweet lullaby


Posted by absurdity-fanatics at 6:16 PM MDT
Updated: Wednesday, 13 September 2006 6:20 PM MDT
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ugh, i'm supposed to be doing homework right now. I'm so tired! I hate homework. This is the second day of school for crying out loud! Give us a break. I despise my old math teacher for not letting me take honors math this year. I AM BORED OUT OF MY SKULL!!!!!!!!! The teacher tells us not to go past number six five minutes after giving us a paper, and I'm already done with the front and the back. I AM BORED!!!!!!! 

 (lol, that was posted back on July 25. I'm still bored)


Posted by absurdity-fanatics at 6:14 PM MDT
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I've been listening to some instrumental music, and I've decided what music I'm going to use if I am able to film my screenplays while in highschool. (yeah, like that's ever going to happen...) I say highschool because as an adult you HAVE to compose your own, but if you just do a fun little thing as a kid, people don't care. Maybe if I was a musical genius I could compose my own. But guess what! I'm NOT a musical genius! Therefore, Evanescence jumps in, lol. Oh, and Mozart. And Beethoven. Most of it is Evanescence, actually. I still need to convince my mother that I DO listen to Mozart and Beethoven so I can get the CD with that stuff on there. She doesn't believe me! I don't get it. I love classical music. Anyhow, the theme for my female character is going to be Eternal by evanescence. The song that plays during the credits will be Anywhere, also by Evanescence.

 

Anywhere

 

Dear my love, haven't you wanted to be with me
And dear my love, haven't you longed to be free
I can't keep pretending that I don't even know you
And at sweet night, you are my own
Take my hand

We're leaving here tonight
There's no need to tell anyone
They'd only hold us down
So by the morning light
We'll be half way to anywhere
Where love is more than just your name

I have dreamt of a place for you and I
No one knows who we are there
All I want is to give my life only to you
I've dreamt so long I cannot dream anymore
Let's run away, I'll take you there

We're leaving here tonight
There's no need to tell anyone
They'd only hold us down
So by the mornings light
We'll be half way to anywhere
Where no one needs a reason

Forget this life
Come with me
Don't look back you're safe now
Unlock your heart
Drop your guard
No one's left to stop you

Forget this life
Come with me
Don't look back you're safe now
Unlock your heart
Drop your guard
No one's left to stop you now

We're leaving here tonight
There's no need to tell anyone
They'd only hold us down
So by the mornings light
We'll be half way to anywhere
Where no one needs a reason

 I think that for the regular theme I WILL have to compose my own. EEK!!!! That's going to be fun...I just realized that I've never actually mentioned what screenplay I'm writing. No, it's not Lizzie Borden. That's planned. Well, ha ha, cause I'm not saying till it's done! Actually, I might not even say then. Darn, my parents already know what it is. Nosy persons... 

 

 


Posted by absurdity-fanatics at 6:10 PM MDT
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